The Testimony Tour: He Sees Good.

Thank you so much for joining us on the Testimony Tour!  You can check out Shannon Geurin’s story at shannongeurin.com if you missed hers! Her story is amazing and I know you’ll be blessed!

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I’m sitting in a semi dark room with a handful of people and we are told to “feel what we feel” as the words of the song You know Me by Steffany Gretzinger are playing.  I hear the words you know when I rise and when I fall. You know everything and I feel…well…super exposed.

All my sin, shame, and guilt were bubbling to the top and I was almost scrunching in my seat. I was physically uncomfortable.  I don’t like thinking about my sin. I don’t like remembering the seasons of my life where I was in glad rebellion of God’s design for my life.

The words came again. I see you. I know you. I know all about you.   I remained uncomfortable, all my sin exposed.  Then glory happened.

Out of nowhere, I heard God speak to me. Not in an audible way, but it was the moment that changed everything. With all my sin bubbling to the top, with all the shame and guilt and sins of my past screaming for attention, God spoke, “When I see you, I see GOOD.”

And a picture of a pink wave washed over me.  You can imagine the ugly tears that followed.  You see, I’d been searching to hear those words for longer than I can remember.

I’ve always known God was real. I remember talking to Him when I was child. My early years consisted of private Christians Schools, hours at church, and the smell of anointing oil. You’ve got to love smells that last past bath time.

I loved church. It felt like home to me and thinking of God as my Heavenly Father was very easy to do.  My dad wasn’t around, so it seemed fitting for me to just talk to my Heavenly Father. At seven or eight years old, I wanted to get baptized. I’m not sure of my motives at the time, but I believed in God and trusted Jesus died for my sins.  We want to complicate the gospel, but really…. that’s it.

Those who confess their sins, admit a need for a Savior, and chose to follow Jesus become part of God’s family. A childlike faith is what I had. That’s all I’ve ever needed, but didn’t know it.

I spent the next 20 years testing God’s love and faithfulness. I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing, but if you aren’t sure…then you don’t believe it’s true.  Will He love me if I sin this kind of way? Will He love me more once I stop screwing up so much?  Will he still love me after I’ve done all that??!! Those were the questions I didn’t know were motivating my actions and choices.

When God sees me, He sees good.
How many times I hid behind shame and guilt, trying to “clean” myself up.

You see, I didn’t really trust God. How could I? I didn’t know Him.  I knew about Him. I knew God was powerful.  I knew He was present. I knew He was good-ish, but didn’t know His love for me was unconditional.

I received a phone call in the middle of the night in my early twenties. Phone calls in the middle of the night aren’t usually good. This particular one left me realizing I didn’t know what I believed about God.

I ran back to God and surrounding myself with truth.  My spirit had been begging for the truth for years. Guilt and shame didn’t seem to leave me as I continued to ask God for “signs” that I was truly forgiven. My thoughts were: fake. liar. dirty. liar. fake. sinner.

I believed the lie, You have to do ______ before you will be good. NO bigger LIE in the WORLD! Tweet that

I had all the head knowledge in the world, but my heart had some re-learning to do about my Heavenly Father. I started reading the Bible with different eyes.  I began asking myself the question, “What does this say about God?”

I started getting to KNOW the God of the Bible.  It was only then I could recognize His voice.  It was only then I was able to separate truth from lie and enter into friendship with God.

I became friends with the Sovereign, perfectly just, infinite Holy God. I let go of all past mistakes.  It’s a process that is more fun every step of the way.

I asked God to change my desires.  I became so hungry for truth I couldn’t get enough worship, scripture, prayer, and podcast.  God continues to get bigger and bigger in my life as I follow Jesus.

he-cancelled-my-debt-and-hecalled-me-his-friend

One of my favorite things about following Jesus is noticing how redemptive He actually is.  He redeems everything; including my personality. I used to think God wanted to change me…that lie wasted so much of my time!

I am a passionate person.  Jesus is making me passionate for him. I’ve always been good with words.  Jesus is redeeming my words to point people towards the cross.

I now have fun with my Heavenly Father with a faith that stays active. Most of the time, it feels like playing. Jesus removed shame and guilt. I now pray and intercede for others instead of just always begging for forgiveness.  This is the space where miracles occur.

The Kingdom of Heaven truly belongs to the poor in spirit. Tweet that

I prayed that God would help me love the Bible. I love studying scripture and sewing those truths into my everyday life. Now, I teach those truths on the Radio! It’s amazing to see God’s faithfulness!

I used to pray that God would use me as a vessel to help carry out his will.  I grow in awe of God because He ACTUALLY does use me. It’s crazy that He would include us! Thank you Jesus for making a way! He can use you too!

Now, it is my passion to help others learn how to recognize God’s voice and allow it to spark a life in Christ that draws others to Him. I love to teach what I’ve learned about Scripture and let it be the lens through which I see God.

You see, for years I wanted to hear the truth.  I wanted to know what God said about my doubts, insecurities, fears, desires, and my sin.  I couldn’t hear the truth. I had been listening to lies that I wasn’t good enough for God.  I wasn’t convinced Jesus was fun enough, or ever satisfied with me.

How beautiful the truth is. It’s now my passion to empower women by speaking the truth of the gospel into the places of fear, doubt, sin, and pride by exposing lies and replacing them with God’s glory.  The gospel of Jesus can restore what’s broken in your heart.  Yes.  It is possible.  It happens when we completely surrender ourselves to Him.  It happens when we become friends with God.

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Please be sure to visit my friend,  Alisa Nicaud’s story at flourishingtoday.com as she ends our tour strong!

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