5 Benefits to Shutting Up; a list for Christian Wives

Shut up and Be a Better Wife

Some of you may be wondering if I’m having a guest blogger today.  If you know me well, you know I’m a lot mouthy and a little opinionated and you are wondering what in world I know about shutting up.

Every time preacher man starts talking about the wonderful qualities of the kind and gentle women, I hunker down and wait until it’s over.  These aren’t exactly the first two words people would use to describe me.

Over the years, 3 to be exact, I’ve learned the value of shutting up and I’ve seen some pretty amazing things happen…especially in my marriage.

One of the main things I hear leading women’s groups is, “I just want my husband to be the spiritual leader in the family!” Yes… This is God’s design, but ladies… We need to check ourselves first.

Are we actually doing anything to HINDER this from happening??  I sure was and I’m not alone.  Having that quiet spirit lies under the umbrella of meekness. It’s also the biggest challenge for me, but I’m learning that it is also what God wants from me…. sometimes.  He wants me to shut up, so HE can talk. He wants me to trust Him completely…enough to BE QUIET.

Below are 4 Benefits to Shutting Up:

  1. You are forced to practice what you preach.

“Yes! I love Jesus.  I trust Him.  He is so faithful to me.”

We say we trust in Jesus, but our actions, attitudes, and words certainly don’t always match the truths we speak. When you shut up, is forces you ACTUALLY trust that God will do what He says.

Women are such fixers and we want to bust in guns a blazing with our control and tell everybody what they need to do and how.  Shutting up allows you to grow in your faith because you created some space for God to actually  move.  Trust that God is for your marriage and is at work.

If your marriage gets better because of you, you get the glory.  If your marriage improves because of God, God gets the glory! Tweet that.

  1. You can stop trying to be Holy Spirit.

Have you ever elbowed the hubs during church?  Raised and eyebrow when preacher proves you were right in the middle of a sermon?  Said, “Did you hear what preacher said” in the car ride home?  That is you trying to be Holy Spirit. Here is what took me years to learn…

I Am Terrible At Being Holy Spirit.

You probably are too.

Once we shut up and silence the nagging, the people in our lives actually hear Holy Spirit!  He’s much better at creating change then we are.  Let’s zip it and let Him do His job; changing all hearts and minds towards Christ, including ours.

The Bible literally says, “it’s better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife!” Proverbs 25:24

I find this hilarious and sad at the same time because it’s the state of many homes.  We nag but instead we should be humbling ourselves and seeking Christ.

  1. You learn more about Jesus through your Christian husband.

I say Christian husband because most of the ladies I talk with have  husbands who serve God, just not the way they’d like them too.   Jesus gave us the body of Christ.  I finally learned I was’t the only one who had the all the answers when I shut my mouth.  When I wasn’t doing all  the talking, my husband started talking more.  And guess what….I started learning from Him.  He continues to teach me things about who God is because in Christ he is an image bearer.

See how that worked?  I stopped talking so much…he started talking, leading, making the decisions!

4.It brings honor into your marriage.

How often do we call our friends and complain?  I’m guilty of this, but I learned that if I have an issue I need run to God about it… at least first.  I’m not saying don’t talk to your friends about your husband.  I’m just saying pay attention to how you speak about him.

Christian wives need to put an end to the “can you  believe He did this” and I can’t stand it when he….” These words don’t need to be spoken and they lack honor as well as stir up a spirit of ungratefulness.  The next time you want to call a friend and complain about you husband….zip it and take these grumblings to God in prayer and allow him to heal your heart when you are hurt.   

       5. You love God more.

One day during my “quiet time” I was doing everything but being quiet.  I was just a praising His glorious name, thanking Him for all He has done ect… I wasn’t saying anything bad, but I was intentionally trying…. and failing at being quiet before the Lord. Then  Psalm 39 popped into my head.

“But when I was silent and still, not even saying anything good, my anguish increased. My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned then I spoke with my mouth.” Psalm 39:2

I laughed out loud! God was muzzling me! It’s like He was saying.  I know you love me, if you want to love me more, learn to be quiet and still. That is how your love can grow.

Now, if your marriage is in a scary place…this post isn’t for you.  This isn’t a submit to your husband and allow anything to happen.  Please seek help if you need it.

But if your marriage lacks mutual respect and is full of nagging…please friends;consider this advice.   My love for God has grown.  The love in my marriage has grown.  The love I have for God’s people has grown…because I’m learning how to be quiet.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help us to be quiet and trust you.  Thank you for being our great defender.  Help us to learn the beauty in silence.  Help us to be people who speak life and blessings instead of having a nagging spirit.  Forgive us for the times we have tried to control and manipulate others with our words.  Only you can change hearts.  Please change ours. Thank you for your love and your patience.  We need you so much, Jesus.  In your name I pray, Amen.



8 thoughts on “5 Benefits to Shutting Up; a list for Christian Wives

  1. I definitely remember moments in our marriage when I tried to be the Holy Spirit in my husband’s life. Let’s just say that it didn’t turn out so well! While there are times I’m still tempted to take on that role, I try to remember that only God can truly change my husband – and me!! Thanks for this reminder that so much can be accomplished through prayer and silence.

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