It’s hard living with people. With all the stresses of life, unmet expectations, and conflict, it’s no wonder so many people feel overwhelmed in relationships and marriage!! I wanted to share something I learned a few months ago. The lesson I learned comes up in conversations all the time, so I hope all who read this are encouraged:)
Tax season is an annual adjustment around this house which tends to lead to our annual argument on how taxing the season actually is! This year, it occurred the first week of January…which is a weee bit early for something that last until April! Thankfully, there aren’t many occasions in the Tonge home where I end up frustrated and crying, but this was one of those nights.Normally, I would call one of my best friends and tell her all about it. She would say all the right things and be supportive of Team Tonge.
For the FIRST TIME EVER I didn’t call my friend. Instead, I simply cried to God.
I asked God to help me see truth from lie. I literally talked to Him the way I would have talked to my friend. I tried to be as honest with my words and feelings as I could because I knew God knew them anyway. I was crying in the parking lot of Publix…with three kids….it was a situation of emotions.
In His mercy, God did show me the truth. I was reminded that Satan is real, and he hates my marriage. He hates how much the Lord has blessed our marriage especially over the past two years. I was listening to the lies, “He doesn’t see me. He doesn’t have a clue what I do at home. He doesn’t value all the hard work I do in tax season.” The truth was that Joel feels a lot like I did in this instance. He’s working a million hours a week. He’s tired and exhausted.
When I got home, I was still upset, still praying that God would help me get over this because who likes feeling miserable?
Before the “tiff” I was planning on baking cookies so he’d have a sweet treat when get got home, but I was still upset and not feeling very thoughtful. I was then reminded that I have an audience of one. I knew being nice pleased God, so I did it in efforts of a peace offering even though my emotions weren’t exactly matching my action.
I was watching TV when I heard his car pull up. My feelings were still very hurt. I simply can’t describe in words what happened next. Y’all….I kid you not…the MOMENT Joel stepped foot in our home, my mood completely changed in an INSTANT.
In the snap of a finger, like a whoosh, the feeling of complete peace came over me and my heart was healed.
It was so obvious I knew it was from God. I think it was God’s way of reminding me that coming to Him and doing my best to obey during conflict will always end in my favor.
It was also a beautiful reminder of what the Lord can do in marriages. The reason my mood changed the literal instant Joel stepped into the house is because he brings peace into our home. He is a man of God who loves his Lord and family well. I had forgotten those wonderful truths because of the stresses of life. The lesson I learned in this one fight was to ALWAYS turn to my heavenly who loves me first. He wants and IS the only one who can truly heal hearts.
Life is stressful, marriages Do have conflict. Some marriages have HUGE conflicts. It’s easy to forget truth when sooo much life happens. The truth is God is FOR you. God is FOR your marriage. God CAN restore any relationship.
God can do much more in a marriage than solve one fight. He can heal the entire thing!! He wants to be the FIRST person you turn to. Friends are great, and I am definitely not saying to not seek godly counsel if your marriage needs extra ears. I’m just saying that for this one tiff, I just took it to God.
I definitely told my friend all about it. But the story was very different. Instead of complaining of what we were arguing about, I got to share with her the amazing way that God had showed up for me. I don’t know why I didn’t call her that night. I think partly was because even though I was still upset, I did still want to honor Joel. In his mercy, the Lord helped me to obey and respond accordingly. Now, tax season is almost over. The hours have been nuts, but we never came close to another one of those arguments again. I pray I never forget the truths God showed me that night. Jesus is truth and truth always wins.
My prayer for tonight:
Heavenly Father, thank you for caring about every single part of our lives. Thank you for being for us and our families. Thank you for Jesus. You are our healer. You are our friend. Thank you for always being close enough to hear us. I pray every eye that reads this comes to know you and your greatness. For you are the one who can heal our hearts and bless our marriages. I pray you have mercy on us and help us to see how much you are for us and for our marriages. Help us to obey in conflict and be glorified in our families. In your name I pray. Amen